Summer. *Aaahhh…* (that is the nice calm sighing “aahh”, not the screaming, loud “AAAHHH” like you saw a spider or me in my bathing suit. Kidding! Sorta).  

….ANYWAY, as I was saying. Summer. A time for easy. A time for fun. Relax. Swim. Enjoy. Vacation and fun in the sun. Ah yes. Vacation. A time for families to go and frolic in the sea and *yuck* sand! A time to enjoy each other and kinda get along for about a week….

*Record SCRAAATCH*   

*Car brakes SCREEEECH*

Not this year!! No way lady!!! Let me share my wonderf….I mean Horrible vacation. Please, fasten your seat belts. This is going to be a bumpy *gulp* ride.

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So, we decided to go to Florida this year to visit my dad, aunt and uncle. We usually drive to our beach destinations. But this year we flew, because I was not driving 17 or more hours with kids! Hell to the no!!! So, we took a plane. I booked our flight, hotel and rental car together through Expedia. Easy enough.

So Friday comes, the day for us to leave. We have a plan to leave at 7 am because we have to drive 2 hours to Baltimore to catch our flight. Fine. We are in the van around 7:10, of course later than mom wants, but no biggie. Get to Baltimore. Park car. Take shuttle. Find gate. Grab a quick bite with about a half hour to spare before boarding. Aaaand delayed! Of course! Why not? So, our flight was delayed a half hour. Ok. We deal. Finish our majorly expensive, not that good airport food. I take my new motion sickness pill. For those of you that don’t know, yes I get major motion sickness. Boats suck. Front seat on long car rides. And planes ew. But, I deal.

Finally, time to board. Kids are super excited. First flight and all. (Liv flew at a young age, doesn’t remember). Thank you lord for not passing the motion sickness gene to my kiddos!! The plane is 3 seats, aisle, 3 seats. So, me and kids in 3, hubs across aisle. Alex gets window on the way. Liv middle, me aisle. We sit, get ready and take off. And I feel horrible almost instantly. I’m staring straight ahead, at the ceiling, at the exit sign. I have Al chanting are you motion sick? Are you motion sick? OMG. Stop! My hubs gets me a ginger ale. I munch on some pretzels because no crackers. I had plans of the kids coloring and what not and limit electronics. HAHAHAHA! Electronics the whole time because momma sick. I’m praying and chanting. Let this be over. Are we there yet? Let this be over. Are we there yet?

2 + hours later, the pilot says we will start our descent. Get gum for me and kids. Sit back and descend. Aaaand cue the Puke! Luckily, my hubs saw it coming and gets me an airsick bag. I make it in there. And the tears start. I’m bawling. Kids staring. I’m shaking. Can’t breathe. I close bag. Whack Liv on the arm, “Get me another bag!” She scrambles for bag. Flight attendant sees me. “Are you ok?” NO!!!!! She gets me a big ass garbage bag and tissues. Ice pack on the neck. She’s telling me to take deep breathes because I’m practically hyperventilating. She’s taking my pulse. Finally gets me breathing normal. But I’m still shaky. Plane lands. Kids keep asking if I’m ok. Don’t answer. Hubs is like just leave mom alone for now. As soon as we land, people are already standing next to me, I’m freaking out. They’re all up in my space! I need to get off this plane!! Finally my turn. I book it. Hubs gets my stuff and kids. Liv keeps asking did it hurt? (because I was crying). I said no. I just cry when I puke.

Still shaky. Find bathroom. Go do my business. Wash face. Start to feel a little better. Still have to get luggage. Go find baggage claim. Airport lady holding our bag because we were running late, I guess? (We didn’t take that long to get there. Even with bathroom stop). Find car rental place. That part was easy and fast.

Now time to find hotel. No problems. Get there. Find my dad, aunt and uncle. Have dinner. Go back to room and crash for the night.

Saturday. Breakfast. Beach time. Very late lunch. Store for snacks and drinks. Back to hotel and chill.

Sunday… Evil Sunday. Get up. Kids eat chocolate chip muffins for breakfast because vacay. We’re kinda lazy, till lunchtime. Decide to go to taco place for lunch. Figure we’ll beach later. Liv says belly hurts. I brush it off because Liv=drama queen + it’s lunchtime, so probably hungry. We walk to taco place. Order. Liv wants to go back to room. Make order to go. Back to room. Liv can’t eat. Ok. Fine. I go look for something better for belly. (Yeah ok. On boardwalk? Nope). Go back to room. She threw up while I was gone. I was going to take Alex to see my dad and everyone (My sisters were also on vacation with us, staying with my dad). Liv asked me to stay. So my nice sisters took Alex for a few hours. In the meantime, Liv got sick a few more times, once out the other end. Then that night, Alex throws up. WAH!!! He actually slept on the floor!! (On blankets!)

Monday. Liv much better. Wants to eat. Alex was meh. Not too bad. No sickness. Just kinda blah. We go to lunch. Won’t eat. Back to room. Go explore. Come back. Dinner. Do a little beach in evening. Go to hotel, then bed.

Tuesday. Liv jumps up ready to take on the day. Alex, not so much. He popped his head up in bed, then fell back to sleep. Which is weird for him. He then gets up like a half hour later. Starts guzzling water like crazy. And just wants to lay. So he’s on floor (on blanket) again. Falls asleep! Again this is strange for him. So I’m worried. Near momma bear tears. Take Liv for breakfast quick while dad stays back with Al. Go back to room. Ask my sister if aunt has Lipton soup and crackers. Thank god she does. She makes it. Gives it to me.Takes Liv for a little. Back to room. Alex sleeps till after 11, when we wake him to eat soup. Does not want to get up. Worry. Worry. Hubs gets him to wake up, sit up and eat like two small sips of broth. We keep doing this off and on. Along with Gatorade. Till finally he seems more awake and better and hungry. Eats soup. Watches cartoons and has color in his face. I really thought we’d have to take him to med express or something! I didn’t know if he was dehydrated or what!? Seems like he just needed food from being sick. Plus on vacation we don’t eat the best.

So he is back to normal by late afternoon. We decide to go to a store the hubs wants to check out. Animation and superhero stuff. Neat little store, We go to Hard Rock Cafe Hollywood, FL for dinner. Good stuff. Back home to hotel. Walk on beach. Visit the fam. Back to hotel to pack to leave the next day.

Wednesday. Journey back home. We get up early. Get all our stuff together, check out of hotel. Go hang out with my dad and aunt and visit my uncle at work (on the beach. He is for real a cabana boy. And loves it.). Say our goodbyes. Go for lunch. Head to airport. Return car. And have lots of time to waste at airport. About a half hour before flight, I take Dramamine. I purchased a new neck pillow. I had my ginger ale and pretzels and tried (not very well) to keep myself calm before getting on plane. No delay. Flight on time. Woo Hoo!! Get on plane. Get seats. Liv’s turn at window. I’m prepared. I have Liv on stand by to hand out cough drops (Al and I have had coughs for a couple weeks), gum and tissues. I have my ginger ale and pretzels ready. I have air sick bags near me and ready to go. Kids know not to bug mom when plane starts. Aaand we’re delayed on runway! OMG! This is not good for motion sick mom! What are you doing to me people! The pilot will update us every 15 minutes.

So we wait…. And luckily only 15 minutes. Pilot says everyone needs to be seated or we will miss our window for take off. I’m swearing in my head, You better F’in sit down people! We need to GO!! Finally we go. I’m staring at the ceiling again. I can’t see the exit sign this time. So I find this square to stare at. And I start to sing in my head…100 bottles of beer on the wall. 100 bottles of beer! I. Don’t. Know. It’s just what I picked!! So we go up, level off. Kids play on phone. And I feel….ok. Not perfect. But…ok. I don’t look around, I’m not taking any chances. But I don’t feel terrible!!! Yay!!

I feel like I can maybe listen to music. Bend over to get phone. Ok! Sit up! We’re ok. We’re ok. Bend over get earbuds. OK! Sit up! We’re ok. We’re ok. And I listen to music!! Yay! It was a nice distraction. Kids bickered a little. Shush! They play on phones the whole time and I really don’t care because momma feels…ok. I actually was able to talk to hubs for like 2 seconds. Pilot says we’ll be descending soon. Oh crap. This is it. The real test! Hand out gum to everyone. This is where I’m nervous. Hubs said they did like a U turn last time and that’s where I got sick. So, I’m listening to my music. Focusing on the words, tapping foot and fingers to the beat. Descending. Descending. Damn it takes long to descend! Then there was like a big push. The plane went up and down. Everyone gasps and there were some “Whoas!”. Aaand I feel kids and hubs staring at me. I’m ok! A little…ew that sucked! But…ok. And we land! And stop! And everyone claps because I didn’t get sick!!! Ok, ok. They clapped because we landed safe. But a girl can dream. We get off plane. And I’m so happy because I made it! Without sickness woo hoo!!!

Go to baggage claim. Kids have to got to bathroom. Quick go. Back to baggage claim. Aaaand wait. And wait. And wait. Finally bags start coming down. Looking and looking. There it is! Get bag. Find shuttle. Aaand wait. And wait. Sign says 5 minutes. Then 4 minutes. Then Liv says what the…? It jumped up to 6 minutes. Ug! Finally, shuttle comes. Back to long term lot and We. Are. The. Last. Stop. Get to our beautiful, red van. And we’re finally on our way. Stop to eat. Back on road. Get home at 11 pm. So late. But home sweet home! Hi Maggie! Hi house! Hi bed! Good Night!!

And if you’re still reading this, I thank you for sticking around. I hope my story made you at least giggle a little! Because even though it sucked for the most part, we will be able to look back and laugh and say “Hey! Remember when…??”  This vacation is now coined “Worst Vacation 2017!!”

I also want to give a shout out to my husband who was dealing with sickness too. He felt like he had the flu. (bad headache, muscle aches, cough, possible fever) and he still participated in vacation. He needed Tylenol to help with that. But he didn’t lay around and sleep the whole time. #mancold  😉  He did the best he could with how he was feeling. He pushed on and we had a good time… when we could leave the room…..

And that, in a huge-ass-not-small-at-all nut shell, was our worst summer vacation of all time. It sucked. But at least we spent it together.

Hollywood, FL wasn’t bad. The sickies that hit us were! The water was a nice, warm temperature. I’m not one to go in the water. But I actually swam! And the kids had a great time in the water when we actually made it to the beach. The few things we got to do were fun. I did not like how hot it was though! I reeeally appreciated the AC!!

How about you? Do you have a worst summer vacation? Share your stories! (Share this story!)         I want to read them! Comment below. Email me. Or on my Social Media.

Until next time…